7/2. "IT'S SOME KIND OF MIRACLE!!!"

Class began at 9 am today. We hurried through some genitive case exercises and then left for the metro at 10:45. We were going to the Balticka Beer Factory today! It took about an hour to get there (we needed to take the metro as north as the metro would take us) and then hopped on a bus to the factory. My mood today was probably as up and down as it’s ever been. I was tired, excited, sad, hyper, giggly, silly, boring… It continued all day, and depending on where we were, what we were learning, and who I was with, I was feeling one of the above emotions full force.

My favorite part of the tour was watching the little forklifts speeding around the giant storage space, beeping at each other and picking up boxes of beer. They looked like little bugs with headlights. This is when I was struck by a fit of laughter. There was something about it that reminded me of my best friend Jess, and knew she would be giggling just as uncontrollably as I was.

After the tour we were brought into a large restaurant space where we were treated to little meat and cheese sandwiches and a ton of beer. I sat at the table dubbed “LATIN AMERICA” and observed at least 15 toasts to various countries and people. As Max’s level of crudeness increased, I knew the time was approaching when our little party would be over. As we waited for the bus to get us at the factory, Max and I used the free Internet on my laptop. This was so convenient actually because I had some important emails to send and since Thursday was packed with activities and was really my only day to send them, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to. Everything worked out just fine as it always does in the end.

I finished my day at a McDonalds skyping with my Dad, Aunt El, and Meemaw. That was the most wonderful skype session. My Meemaw kept telling me how great I looked and that this Internet phone call was “some kind of miracle!!!” Ah how I miss home. I really am happy with the way my trip has turned out, but I still look forward to home as much as ever, even while I’m living in the moment and enjoying life here.

7/1. Paying it forward

Wednesdays are great because I get to sleep in. I woke up at 8, had breakfast and digested as I read in my bed for a few more hours. Class was productive and enjoyable (Wednesdays and Thursdays are with Tatyana who is awesome). There were two new students in class too, which is always exciting. Loris is maybe a little older than I am and lives close to Paris. Stef is Canadian and from the same Masters program at Carleton College as Kavin. No one really seemed endeavored to greet and meet the new girls, so I took that upon myself to do. Loris explained that she has a friend here who is sick. I think that has prevented her from going out more. She also comes off as a little distant, but that doesn’t means anything. She’s lovely and I’ll invite her out anyway. I know I unintentionally can come off as unapproachable too so I wouldn’t hold it against her. Stef is very chatty and sweet, so getting her to come out was a piece of cake.

After class Loris kind of booked it out of there, so I didn’t get to invite her out. I asked Stef if she wanted to come and get lunch with a few of us and she enthusiastically agreed. She told me how much she appreciated being invited out and being given advice. I told her a bit about my first few weeks and feeling really disoriented and alone and that the best advice I could give her would be to just stay positive and open to whatever this place threw at her. MAX, of all people, suggested the pie place I’d shown him Greg and Marta a few weeks ago. A handful of us, including Stef, walked the few miles to get there and enjoyed a little snack.

I headed home afterwards feeling good and like I could help Stef like Ann-Karin helped me my very first week. She’ll get comfortable and uncomfortable and I’ve no doubt will love and hate this place throughout her month here. It’s really incredible looking back on the last month and a half of my journey. My relationship with St. Petersburg has grown and matured in a way I didn’t think would be possible. I felt knocked down and sad a lot, but something always brought a smile back to my face. That something could have been the sun or Irina or my own ability to remain optimistic. My optimism has most definitely been tested here. It would be so easy to sink into a dark pit of depression. So easy, in fact, that it seems unfair and like there really isn’t much to keep you happy except for yourself. In deciding to accept and love the world as it is, and be happy doing it, I’ve found a close and reliable ally within myself. Naturally, having the support of my family and friends has helped immensely, but I feel stronger since being here. I feel wiser….maybe J

6/30. Irina outdoes herself with all the cuteness once again

This inability to enthusiastically apply myself has regretfully rubbed off on Max. We sat in the back of the room, wrote on each other’s notebooks, and laughed about things that weren’t that funny. I answered questions, we all took a quiz.  I kind of feel bad since he has to take a grammar test when he gets back to school and I just have to turn in my transcript from my course here. That fact makes me feel less guilty when I stare out the window.

I got home for some dinner and Irina had a surprise waiting for me. I didn’t know this until she explained it, but for the past month and a half she had been looking for a sour cream substitute that I would be able to eat. She said she’d looked in store after store every week and no one had anything, until she went in that Tuesday and found some! I happily mixed it into my beets and potatoes and couldn’t help feeling the love.

I’ve come to expect and look forward to Tuesday nights. Tuesday means the Banya with Irina and being really clean. It means something familiar and comfortable. The experience was much like the one I had last week with the exception of knowing the general order of when to shower or go in the sauna. I brought my own shampoo and conditioner this time so I left being completely clean and not feeling like I forgot anything.

Irina and I got back to the house and were in better than good spirits. We had been chatting about my family, her work, that this was her last week before she would have a nice 3 week vacation period, and just being happy. She noticed in the Banya that I had a few big cuts on my arms from scratching at my mosquito bites. When we got back to the house she called me into her room and put some medication on them for me. She treats me like her baby sometimes. Like the smallest tasks would be too taxing for me to do, so she takes them on herself without me asking or even knowing sometimes. We sat down and she showed me pictures of her office. She is an optometrist. Not a nurse like I’d thought. She treats eyes. I could tell how proud she was of her office and profession. It makes me happy when she’s happy.

After the pictures I told her how sleepy I was and that I was going to sleep. I spread out on my bed and put some music on. A few minutes later, there was a knock on my door. Irina popped her head in and passed me a little bowl of fresh cherries, smiled, and went back to the kitchen.

It warms my heart when I think of how lucky I’ve been here. 

6/29. Mexican Monday...the creative titles for my posts are really top notch.

Let me describe class now. I know I went into a little detail earlier in the trip, but things have developed and changed. Elena has retained her ability to make some students feel bad and teach us a ton of vocabulary words each and every class. She never fails to answer every question she asks before we have enough time to process it and respond, and always makes a spectacle of Siuyuan when he can’t pronounce something. She tells us we have a ten-minute break half way through class, and will then give us only 5 minutes. I’ve found that we’ve learned a lot by being in class with her, but seeing as she simultaneously makes us feel incompetent, I’ve been having a hard time applying myself while she’s teaching. She started picking up on that last week, and at times, will now make my confusion into a big deal or skip over me when she asks everyone questions. I feel like it is a shame, since I now only have 2 more weeks left here, that my determination to impress has significantly decreased. I’m starting to itch for the freedom summertime brings and the family and friends I have back home.

After class, a group of us went to the Mexican restaurant Tres Amigos. I forgot how good salsa and guacamole were until this lunch trip. They are both incredible, and were immediately added to the list of things I’m looking forward to eating when I get home. Peanut butter, salad, and cereal are also on the list.

I’ve almost forgotten what its like to be surrounded by no one who speaks the same language as me. I get by with my Russian, I can understand some Spanish and French, and I speak English. Going out to eat today reminded me how much I used to take UNDERSTANDING WORDS for granted. I think that because the Latin American/Spanish culture is far more welcoming and kind right off the bat than Russians are, I didn’t feel as much like an outsider at this lunch or when I lived in Mexico. When I first got here I thought I would have no problem just jumping into the language like I did with Spanish, but I found that to be extremely false. Here I was met with irritation to my attempts, and so much eye rolling. I’m not discouraged anymore from returning to the country, but recollecting on how I felt when I first arrived really makes me appreciate being able to express my gratitude for people’s kindness in the States and now here. I hadn’t realized how rare it could be to find someone anxious to help you out or answer a question until I got to Russia. Never again will I decline the opportunity to help someone. In fact…I’ll go seek it out. 

6/27-6/28. Marta's last weekend and a Korean Protestant Church in Russia

This is most likely going to be the last weekend I have before I start cramming everything I didn’t do or want to do again into my schedule. So I over indulged in my relaxation rime. I spent Saturday in bed and reading for at least 4 hours. I also napped for at least 2 hours and showered. As the evening approached at a most relaxing and comfortable pace, I got ready to meet Eva and Marta. Tonight is Marta’s last night in St. Petersburg before my Polka returns to Poland. They were so sweet and took the metro to my stop so I wouldn’t have to go far from home. I wouldn’t have an escort home this time, so I didn’t want to go out for too long. We went to an Angels and Demons themed bar right across from the metro. We drank, talked about organized religions, holy scriptures, and spirituality, watched Marta dance like a “gangsta” as she frequently referred to herself as being that night, and then hugged and parted ways. They were going to the club called Datcha; I was going home. I had promised Sul-ki that I would come to church with her the next day. I have been either busy or too tired to trek all the way out to church but swore I would come this week. I knew it would be a bad idea to try and do both Datcha and Church, so I snuggled in my bed and passed out.

Church was fascinating. I was greeted by a group of maybe 15 people: mostly Koreans, but a still few Russians. They were very excited that I was American, smiled and were just overall extremely welcoming. It was held in a small room in a Church building that was quite derelict. The room had 2 rows of folding chairs, and a bench along the back of the room. Because I had no Idea what was being said, I spent the majority, if not the entire service, reading parts from the Bible Sul-ki lent me. Hers is in Korean on one side and English on the other. The Bible is both very specific about some things, but in other places is extraordinarily vague. I believe this is what contributes to the large number of interpretations, conflicts etc.

After the service, I was bombarded with invitations to join them all in fellowship and eat hotdogs with them. Though extremely tempting for me vegan self, I decided it would be best to get home. I told Irina that morning where I was going and when I would be back, so I wanted to honor that. I rode the metro and walked home thinking of what I’d just experienced. I find the concept of organized religion both beautiful and terrifying. I’ve witnessed the generosity of a community of one faith, but I’ve also heard contradiction to the statement “everyone is equal” preached to hundreds of people. We all know people who strongly reject religion, and those whose lives revolve entirely around their faith. We also know people who don’t fall into either category.

After the service today I believe even more strongly that it is unreasonable to say that there is only one correct way to do anything, when so many ways exist. This could be the way to heaven or it could be the way to the metro. You can take a parkway or pledge, a bike or a specific burial. They’re all going to get you there eventually.

6/26. I got tan today!

I’m getting tired. I forget how tiring long term traveling is because I get caught up in the moment of every single thing that is happening. I think this constant state of alertness and peppiness to go and do things is the main contributor to my exhaustion. I’m winding down and my focus is class is suffering. Oh well…I’m walking and socializing and practicing Russian outside of school to make up for it J

I picked up Pride and Prejudice on Thursday, and was set on just relaxing, getting a little tan, and reading. This was a big success. I went to the 12 Colleges, and set myself up on a bench in the courtyard. I stayed right there for at least 2 hours and felt sun kissed and happy.

I went home, ate dinner, and fell asleep. The sun, along with museums, walking, friends, class, commuting, and reading, makes me want to sleep. So that is exactly how I spent my Friday night.

6/24. "are you from North or South Korea?"..."SOUTH"

The quote of the day happened during our break in class. I went to the cafe in the building and sat down with Sul-ki and Bennoit. Bennoit is leaving on Saturday! Sul-ki and I talked about church and me going with her (this is what our conversations are always about). Then I decided to change the subject and see how she did outside her comfort zone. 

Me: Sul-ki, are you from North or South Korea?

Sulki: SOUTH!!!

Bennoit and I laughed because it was probably the most perfect reaction I could have ever hoped for.

I slept in a bit and only got ready so that I could meet up with Marta and Eva for lunch at a sushi place. Aside from Teremok’s and general stores that read “Супөр Маркөт“, the other most noticeable place to get food is a sushi bar. We ate sushi and all took out our workbooks and were practicing. Our waiter thought we were precious, and advised us to come back soon.

I think the highlight of my day was finding out that Caroline, one of the Canadian students, is really interested in visiting an orphanage. I had been looking to originally make my trip here revolve around working with orphanages (I thought maybe learning the languge would be a better thing to do first...), so I was really excited to plan something with her. We decided to  use our respective contacts, mine being Sul-ki and her church and Caroline's being her host mom, to get as much information as possible about making a trip for the following week. The Canadians that have been in my class are departing Russia on July 5th, so only one more week of the Kannucks!