7/1. Paying it forward

Wednesdays are great because I get to sleep in. I woke up at 8, had breakfast and digested as I read in my bed for a few more hours. Class was productive and enjoyable (Wednesdays and Thursdays are with Tatyana who is awesome). There were two new students in class too, which is always exciting. Loris is maybe a little older than I am and lives close to Paris. Stef is Canadian and from the same Masters program at Carleton College as Kavin. No one really seemed endeavored to greet and meet the new girls, so I took that upon myself to do. Loris explained that she has a friend here who is sick. I think that has prevented her from going out more. She also comes off as a little distant, but that doesn’t means anything. She’s lovely and I’ll invite her out anyway. I know I unintentionally can come off as unapproachable too so I wouldn’t hold it against her. Stef is very chatty and sweet, so getting her to come out was a piece of cake.

After class Loris kind of booked it out of there, so I didn’t get to invite her out. I asked Stef if she wanted to come and get lunch with a few of us and she enthusiastically agreed. She told me how much she appreciated being invited out and being given advice. I told her a bit about my first few weeks and feeling really disoriented and alone and that the best advice I could give her would be to just stay positive and open to whatever this place threw at her. MAX, of all people, suggested the pie place I’d shown him Greg and Marta a few weeks ago. A handful of us, including Stef, walked the few miles to get there and enjoyed a little snack.

I headed home afterwards feeling good and like I could help Stef like Ann-Karin helped me my very first week. She’ll get comfortable and uncomfortable and I’ve no doubt will love and hate this place throughout her month here. It’s really incredible looking back on the last month and a half of my journey. My relationship with St. Petersburg has grown and matured in a way I didn’t think would be possible. I felt knocked down and sad a lot, but something always brought a smile back to my face. That something could have been the sun or Irina or my own ability to remain optimistic. My optimism has most definitely been tested here. It would be so easy to sink into a dark pit of depression. So easy, in fact, that it seems unfair and like there really isn’t much to keep you happy except for yourself. In deciding to accept and love the world as it is, and be happy doing it, I’ve found a close and reliable ally within myself. Naturally, having the support of my family and friends has helped immensely, but I feel stronger since being here. I feel wiser….maybe J